Family Functions

Posted by Erik Sternberger at

We're now entering the holiday season. Lots of family parties, lots of work gatherings, and my birthday. The Post Office still won't recognize that last one, but I'm working on it. (I'll settle for a stamp.)

Having family over can be great. It can also lead to you needing an excuse to step away for a few minutes. A conspiracy theory about your turkey, an Aunt telling the same medical story every Christmas—that somehow gets longer—each year or the grandkids making TikTok videos with your Labrador Retriever.
Filter Guru
We got you.

1) Mr. Pickles (That Labrador) has been shedding a lot lately. Best to run out to the garage and swap the filter for everyone's benefit. Odds are no one else knows how to change your filter, so take 20 minutes.

2) Everyone keeps going in and out all day with so many visitors. Go to the other room and fix the thermostat. Claim you are reprogramming it so it won't go back down. Wait 5 minutes or until you hear pie being served.

3) In a variation from #1, go out to the garage and come back in 20 minutes later. Say you can't find the replacement filters and say you need to order more. Go to the other room to deal with this. Go to and order a 2 pack. This ruse will only work if filters arrive later. Make sure you hide any current filters you actually have.
air filter
4) Start sniffing. Sniff more. Make comments about it being dry. Go dig out a humidifier from the closet or a spare room. Stare at it and say loudly to yourself "when was the last time we checked this filter?" If no one responds, say it louder. Then take it into the bathroom (if it's washable) or the garage. Sit for 20 minutes. Bring headphones and listen to YOUR music to get "Baby Shark" out of your head while wishing on a star that your niece knows a second song by next year.

Hopefully, that helps. Always plan in advance so you aren't caught unaware, or without a filter in case you really do need one.

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